Schedules

The Question of the Week over at Multiples...and More is "Are you a strict scheduler?"

Yep. Absolutely. No question about it. I think when you have 2 or more children you have to be...or chaos will reign supreme in your household. It keeps all of us sane and allows Ben and Daniel to understand the day and what's going to happen next. Here are some more detailed questions they posed:

How old are your kids now? Have you always followed a rigid schedule?

Ben and Daniel are 28 months old. And no, we haven't always followed a rigid schedule. Since they arrived 10 weeks early, they spent the first 8 weeks of their lives in the NICU. So when we brought them home, they were on a pretty strict 3-hour feeding schedule. For the first month or so, we didn't really follow any schedule but always woke the other baby if a baby woke up to eat. There wasn't any real schedule but they were on the same one.

As time went on, we realized that we were ALWAYS waking Ben. Especially at night and this just didn't seem fair. So at that point, we went off a schedule completely. Each baby was able to determine their own schedule. And this worked fine til they were about 6 months adjusted age.

At this point, we worked and worked on a schedule and after a few weeks finally found one. They were ready for it and so were we. We've been on a strict schedule ever since.

Do you think that your schedule is conducive to healthy sleep patterns in your kids?

It is now. But I truly believe that a strict schedule when they're newborns is not. That's why we had to let Ben sleep and not wake him just because his brother was awake.

We now have great sleepers (and have for a long time now).

Do people give you a lot of flack for being a strict scheduler? How do you respond?

Oh yes. Especially parents to just 1 baby. They really don't get it. I just reply that because we have 2, we have to be more scheduled so that we can all get through the day with our sanity in tact. Luckily, most of my mommy friends have twins so they get it.

Has your routine become more relaxed as your kids have gotten older?

It's probably a bit more relaxed now that they have just 1 nap. When they were on 2 naps, we had to be pretty strict. But I'd say we're still pretty strict.

How do you kids react when they are completely off their schedules- and how do you get them back on track?

My kids are RARELY off their schedules. There was one day before Christmas when we were at my Mom's and I thought they could handle not having a nap. Boy was I wrong. Daniel was OK but Ben had a complete meltdown. We basically had to put him in the car so he could sleep and take him home.

What's our schedule like?

6am - 6:30am - we start to hear noises from their room

7am - Daddy gets them up. They hang out with Daddy and have their milk.

7:30am - Breakfast with Mommy

9am - noon - Usually an outing somewhere - not necessarily for 3 hours but if we're doing something that day, this is when we do it.

Noon - Lunch

12:45 - Naptime

3:15pm - Wake from nap. Have milk and a snack

5:15pm - Supper

5:45pm - Into jammies

6:15pm - Bedtime!

A few of my favourite things (part I)

I've been meaning to do this for awhile. Last week, the question of the week over at Multiples and More was "what are your favourite blogs?" I spent a bit of time reading responses and managed to find a few great ones that I hadn't managed to stumble across before. I LOVE finding a new blog to read. So, without further ado, here are a few of my favourites (in case you haven't stumbled across these ones yet):

1. Bird on the Street - Charlie has got to be the cutest little boy ever and I just love his mommy's attitude and perspective on life and raising a child with CP.

2. The Spohrs are Multiplying - This blog is written by Heather Spohr, mommy to Madeline and now Annabel. Madeline was an amazing little girl. She was a preemie and passed away last Spring. That is when I found this blog. The emotions were so raw and I was just drawn in. I couldn't stop reading. I'm glad I kept reading. Just yesterday, Annabel Violet was born (full-term)!

3. To the Max - Ellen's son Max loves the colour purple. And her daughter Sabrina...well, she's just a cutie pie. Ellen has some some great insights and perspective on raising a son with CP since she's been doing it for a few years now.

4. Gina's Weight Watchers Recipes - I (re)joined Weight Watchers just about a year ago now and this blog has some great recipes.

5. Bitch Cakes - Sheryl is an inspiration. I love her perspective on weight loss, getting fit and eating healthier.

Cruisin' the mall

Ben's been using his walker for about 2 months now. So far, he's only used it at someone's house (ours, my mom's, my brother's). He's gotten pretty good with it even though it's mostly used as a toy and not at all for transportation.

I've been itching to take it to the mall and see how he'd do with it. But he only really learned how to use it proficiently towards the end of November and the malls were crazy with Christmas shoppers.

We finally went this afternoon. He did AWESOME! He was so excited to go to the mall with his walker. He walked almost the ENTIRE mall. I kept asking if he wanted to go in the stroller and he would yell "NO". Even though he was tripping over his own feet, it was still a fight to actually get him away from the walker and into the stroller.

And he was totally the centre of attention. Everyone was looking at him...and in a good way. Everyone was smiling at him and a few people even asked why he needed the walker. I love to get questions about him. I love showing people what CP looks like. So...in case you're wondering...here's what CP looks like.

P.S. In case you were wondering, my typically-developing child preferred to stay in the stroller. He didn't walk at all!

Anybody out there?

Apparently, it's National Delurker Day. Who knew there was such a thing? Not me.

I probably don't deserve it, since I hardly post anymore, but if you're reading, why not leave a comment so I know you're there? You can just say hi, or tell me a bit about yourself and why you're reading or even ask me a question if you want. I'd love questions. Then I'd have an easy post topic.

So go ahead...I dare ya...delurk!

Hope

I came across this post over at A Life Less Ordinary today. It's a wonderfully uplifting post about a little girl with CP who gets invited to play outside in the snow. It made me cry but gave me such hope for the future. Perfect for today, the start of a new year.

Enjoy. And Happy 2010 everyone.

2009

I saw this over at Bird on the Street and decided to do one too.

1. What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?

Blogged. I know that doesn't sound like much but it's outside of my comfort zone.

2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions and will you make more for next year?

I didn’t really make any resolutions. I’m really not into that kind of thing. I did decide to do something about my weight and joined Weight Watchers at the end of January. I now weigh 38 lbs less than I did last year so that’s a very good thing. As for next year…let’s just try to stay at this weight. I don’t care if I lose anymore…I just don’t want to gain any.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

No. But I can think of 4 new babies on the way for 2010.

4. Did someone close to you die?

No. Thank God. 3 deaths in 2008 was enough to last me a lifetime.

5. What countries did you visit?

Bermuda. It was great to go back for a visit and reconnect with old friends. As well as attend my uncle’s wedding.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you didn't have in 2009?

A more organized house.

7. What dates from 2009 will be etched in your memory and why?

There’s only one that really stands out. January 26th – the day I joined Weight Watchers.

8. What was your biggest achievement of this year?

Losing weight.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Nothing huge. I’m just disappointed that my house is as unorganized as it is and that I continue to put off things that I don’t want to do.

10. Did you suffer illness of injury?

No.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

A food scale.

12. Who's behavior merited celebration?

Goodness. This is a hard one. How about I just celebrate Ben and how hard he works every single day.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

I can’t think of anything for this one. I’m not a big newswatcher and there’s no on in my real life that this would apply to…thankfully.

14. Where did most of your money go?

My new kitchen. It was expensive but I love it.

15. What did you get really, really excited about?

My life really isn’t that exciting (hey…I’m blogging at 10pm on New Year’s Eve) but there were 2 things that excited me all year long. First was Ben. He’s exciting (and frustrating and funny and loving and stubborn and…) and I just love to watch him do new things. Watching him use his walker is exciting every single time. Second was losing weight. It really was exciting. And not just because I was getting skinnier but because I really felt like I was figuring out how to do this thing for life. I still feel excited about it. Plus…I got to wear a “little black dress” for the first time ever. Now that’s exciting.

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?

I'd have to say “People are Crazy” by Billy Currington.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you skinnier or fatter? richer or poorer? happier or sadder?

As I said previously…skinnier.
Definitely happier. Definitely.
Richer…probably.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

This is a hard one. The only thing I can think of is connecting with friends, whether new or old. We’ve been back in Canada for about 20 months now. I feel like I’m losing touch with my old friends but not doing a great job of making new ones. Hmm…need to work on this in 2010.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

Worrying. About Ben mostly. I need to stop.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

We had our usual family Christmas Eve event (my Dad’s family has been getting together for Christmas Eve for over 30 years now). My parents and sister came to our house for Christmas Day. We had brunch and then an easy Christmas dinner. Real Christmas Dinner at my mom’s with my parents, sister, brother and his family, and grandmother followed on Boxing Day. Overall…a fantastic Christmas.

21. Did you fall in love with 2009?

No. I think it was a transition year for me. 2008 was bad. Really bad. 2009 was about getting over that and taking care of myself. 2010 should be interesting.

22. What was your favorite TV program?

The Big Bang Theory and American Idol. Sorry, that’s two but I can’t leave AI off the list.

23. What was the best book you read?

My Sister’s Keeper by Jodi Piccoult. I think it was the only book I actually finished this year. Luckily, it was a good one.

24. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Gillian Welch.

26. What did you want and get?

My new kitchen.

27. What did you want and not get?

A reliable babysitter besides our nanny and my mom.

28. What was your favorite film of 2009?

I saw just 2 movies in theatre this year. The new Harry Potter and the new Star Trek. Harry Potter movies always disappoint me (since I love the books so much) and this one was no different. So Star Trek (which I thought was really good by the way).

29. What did you do on your birthday and how old were you?

I don’t think we really did anything for my birthday. That’s a bit sad actually. I was 34.

30. What one thing would have improved your year immeasurably?

Turning off the TV and spending more quality time with my husband.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept of 2009?

Jeans, jeans and more jeans. Oh…and one little black dress.

32. What kept you sane?

Blogs. By other parents of special needs children. Otherwise, I would feel totally alone in the universe.

33. What political issue stirred you the most?

None. I’m just not that into politics.

34. Who did you miss?

My grandmother. She died last year at Christmas.

35. Who was the best new person you met?

My new neighbour Amie. I don’t know her all that well yet, but hope to in 2010.

36. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.

That everyone has their lot in life. If they don’t have it yet, it’s coming. I’m not alone here. I’m not the only one with a non-perfect life. My friend Kelly…well, her Mom did almost 9 years ago. She has no Mom and her nieces have no grandmother. Another friend Tasha…well, her son was just diagnosed with leukemia. He’s got 3 years of treatments to look forward to. And it goes on. I’m learning to be grateful for what I have.

37. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

“One kid’s crying, One kid’s screamin’” – It wasn’t always this bad…it just felt like it some days.

An admission...and some questions...

OK. I’m going to be honest. I’m having a bit of a hard time over here. I have 2 two-year olds (one with CP) and life is hard…and exhausting. I admit it. I’m struggling. So, instead of just feeling sorry for myself, I’m reaching out for help. From you. I have some questions and I’m hoping you can give me some answers or suggestions on how to make life easier.

Is anyone else’s CP kid having a hard time with sleep? I read a post here about E’s sleeping problems and it got me thinking about Ben. He used to be a champion sleeper…but now, not so much. He still sleeps through the night most nights of the week, but there are usually one or two where he wakes in the middle of the night crying. Sometimes a quick visit from Mommy or Daddy will comfort him but usually it doesn’t and he’ll cry on and off for a few hours. I think he’s uncomfortable and since he can easily reposition himself, he has trouble going back to sleep. But I’m not sure. Anyone out there with any similar experiences / stories?

Anyone else out there completely physically exhausted? I’m just looking for some company on this one…you know…the whole “misery loves company” thing. Ben is getting so heavy…he’s about 27 lbs now. And he’s so hard to hold…he doesn’t “hold on” the way a typically-developing child does. And he constantly wants us to walk him around holding onto his hands (instead of using his walker or crawling) and it’s just so hard on my body. That, combined with the lack of sleep mentioned above, has got me completely worn out.

What does the future hold? I know that no one can really answer this question. But I’m having a bit of a hard time (see 1 and 2 above) and need a bit of hope to hold on to right now. Ben is 27 months old. He’s been diagnosed with spastic diplegia. He can use his walker (just started this). He crawls on all fours, can get in and out of w-sit, and can pull to stand and cruise (with someone spotting due to balance issues). He’s classified as a Level 2 on the Gross Motor Function Classification System. Anyone out there with an older child that had a similar diagnosis / similar skills at this age that can shed any light on what the future may hold for him?

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to make life easier? Anyone come across a great idea or product that is impacting your child or your quality of life? I just know that you other moms out there have great ideas or have come across some great products that are making your lives easier. Please share them with me! I’m having a hard time right now and need all the help I can get. In particular, what are you using to transport your child (besides a stroller)? Maybe you’ve come across something that has been a great motivational tool for your child?

That’s all I can think of for now. I’m sure there are a thousand more questions out there but for now, this is enough.