Ben is definitely my more-difficult child. Life just seems so easy for Daniel and his personality seems to match that. Whereas Ben struggles just to move around. It's harder to get from room to room. Harder to do puzzles and play games. Harder even to eat supper. So I worry. I worry that this daily struggle is affecting his personality. Changing him. Making him cranky and difficult.
Or is that just his personality? Would he be that way without CP? Not all kids are easy-go-lucky.
But I hate that I even have to think this. Wonder this. Because then I'm not sure how to parent. Not sure how to discipline. I do try to be more understanding and mindful of how difficult things are for Ben. I try to make sure that he gets lots of sleep and rest. But sometimes, he just goes off the deep end and I have to be the parent. I can't let him get away with this behaviour. And it kills me.
St. Louis Children's actually states the following "Parents often note that their children become much less irritable and more loving after selective dorsal rhizotomy. We attribute this to decreased mental distraction by tight muscles."
I can only hope.
(We are still waiting for our surgery date. I spoke to the surgeon's administrative assistant last week and she said that we should get the date this week.)
(Photo taken by Megan McKinley Photography.)