I went to my cousin's baby shower this afternoon. It was a very nice shower and she got some really great gifts...many of which were gender-neutral since she and her husband have decided not to find out the sex until delivery.
This of course provided the opportunity for lots of discussion about what everyone "thinks" the baby is. Which I find hilarious. I really do think it's crazy that people really think they "know" the sex of the baby. Twelve years ago, my mother was so convinced that my brother's wife was having a girl that she had a closet full of girl clothes when my NEPHEW was born. She had to return everything!
This conversation ALWAYS leads to this comment "it doesn't matter what it is, as long as it's healthy". It's just thrown out there...so flippantly...without any real thought behind what that means. And for some reason, it really bugs me. It's not the comment, it's the lack of thought behind it that irks me so much.
Today I wondered if the speaker (or anyone in the room) even thought about the fact that my boys "weren't healthy" when they were born. I concluded that maybe about 2 people in that room probably thought about that (even though almost all of them know about the boys' premature birth and Ben's CP). And it bugged me. I know I need to get over this, but for some reason, it really bugged me.
And I'm not even sure why. I almost feel silly posting this. I mean why on earth should someone's common-every-day-comment bug me so much?
I think it's because it shows me that they (as in the general public) don't have a freakin' clue how lucky they are to have a "regular" birth with the resultant "normal" child.
Another cousin of mine had a baby last week. The baby and mother stayed in the hospital ONE night and then went home. ONE NIGHT! And the baby went home...without medications...without oxygen or monitors...without numerous appointments already set up with neurologists / cardiologists / opthamoligists. I bet my cousin and her partner have not spent one minute thinking about how fortunate they are to have a "healthy baby".
And for some reason this lack of appreciation gets to me. I guess I just want them to really know how freakin' fortunate they are. And appreciate the perfect little bundle that they get to take home. And not just EXPECT to get a healthy baby...because many of us don't.
P.S. I hope that this post doesn't rub anyone the wrong way. After re-reading it, I realized that it may sound like I do not consider myself FORTUNATE to have Ben. And that is ABSOLUTELY NOT the case. I feel blessed every single day that I get to be Ben's mom. I really do.