Monday, May 4, 2009

I miss my friends

On May 19th, it will be exactly one year since we moved back home. I went off to university at 18 and only came back for 2 summers after that. So I've been away from a long time. I'm now 34 so I lived "away" for 15 years. Eight of those years were actually spent outside of I was really "away" especially to those who never left.

I'm used to having LOTS of friends. In university it was super easy to make friends and even when I went to work, I had no trouble...especially since I didn't have any kids...that makes going out for happy hour after work very easy.

I lived in Bermuda for 6 years. If you live in Bermuda and don't have any friends then there is something seriously wrong with you. There are oodles of expatriates living there...mostly between the ages of 25 and 35 and they just want to have a good time - hang out at the beach, go to happy hour, golf, sail, have BBQ's and the list goes on and on.

We left Bermuda for New York City in January of 2007. We lived in the suburbs just north of the city. It is very hard to meet friends there, especially when you get pregnant with twins just 2 months after moving there. We met a few nice people at church but once the boys showed up we didn't make it back there.

Now we're back home. Of course I have family here so that helps. I have 1 old friend from high school that I kept in touch with and we're still friends now. But we just don't have enough in common to be the kind of girlfriends who stay up all night drinking countless bottles of wine (it doesn't help that she doesn't drink). And I NEED girlfriends like that. I was so used to having girlfriends like that.

Not only did I have great girlfriends...but we had great couple friends. Just absolutely amazing friends that became our family. I really miss them.

It took about 6 months of being home for me to get started on making friends. We were so consumed with moving in and dealing with Ben's delays that I couldn't even fathom making conversation with someone I didn't know.

Luckily, 3 amazing women started a local Multiples Club and I've been able to meet some other moms through that. But we only meet once a month and good friendships take time to build. I also really like my neighbour. She's also a mom of twin boys (they're 7 though). We have a ton of things in common - both have twin boys born at 30 weeks, both SAHM's, both college-educated, both worked for a number of years before having kids, and both doing massive renovations on our homes. It's taken awhile but we now have coffee regularly and she started coming out to the Multiples Club. I really like her. And I think she really likes me but I don't want to be too pushy. Her husband is really nice too so it'd be nice to hang out as couples too.

So I guess this very long post is just saying that I miss my friends. And I'm anxious for the time when we finally have some good ones. I'm not asking for much. Just 1 or 2 close girlfriends and 1 or 2 couples to hang out with. And hopefully hubby finds a few guy friends too. We'll get there.


  1. Hey, I know your feeling exactly. When I was in college I had so many friends to hang out with. Now all of our friends and couple friends live far away. Seems like we just have "acquaintances" now.

  2. Oh girl, even if you don't move around, having kids (and especially twins) really makes friendships tough. Hope these grow as you want them to.