Yep, 3 years ago today, we finally got to bring our boys home after 57 very long days in the NICU.
I've been reflecting all weekend about that time. It was a Thursday. And all week we'd been preparing to bring DANIEL home. Just Daniel. And then all of a sudden, Ben was pronounced "ready to go home" and we got to bring them home together.
We had training on how to use their pulse oximeters and oxygen. We filled prescriptions...many prescriptions and were given very explicit instructions on how to administer them. But you know what? We weren't one bit nervous. We'd been caring for these boys for 57 days...8 weeks and 1 day and we were READY. Ready to be a family.
And you know what else I remember? Even though they came home with "equipment", we really thought we were bringing home TWO healthy babies. I really thought we were in the clear. I had no idea that CP was something that couldn't be diagnosed til later. I didn't even know what CP was for that matter. So I thought my boys were going to be totally "normal"...whatever that is.
And you know what else? I'm glad I thought that. It was hard enough with 2 newborns that I thought were going to be fine. What would it have been like if I was worried that Ben might have CP? I can't even imagine how I would have gotten through it.
And when I think back, I realize how naive we were. Not just about the CP stuff. But about what life with 2 newborns was going to be like. And again, I'm glad I was. Because if I had known how hard it was going to be, I'm not sure I would have made it.
So yeah...today we're celebrating "Gotcha Day" in our house. Not by doing anything big...but by reflecting. Appreciating how far we've come in just 3 years. I look at my two 3-year-olds and wonder how we got here. How is it possible that I now have 2 preschoolers? Who know their alphabet, can count to 10, know the names of at least 5 dinosaurs, and most of the planets? How did this happen?
I don't know how it happened, but I'm so glad it did. I am so grateful to have these 2 little boys.
great post, cary.
ReplyDeleteoh Cary, I could have written a similar one. After all of our time in the NICU, we were soooo excited to bring our babies home too, for the most part pretty unaware of all that went into taking care of two very premature babes with lots of medications, etc. But like you said, that is a good thing!! I wanted to tell you how much I appreciated your comment recently on our blog too. Its nice to know sometimes when you worry or feel overwhelmed at getting it all "right", this whole parenting thing with some extra challenges thrown in, well that you're not alone!!!! so Thank you!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI still get PTSD moments and my preemie was intermediate care stay, not actual NICU, but that three pound birth weight still gives me shivers. I saw the preemie clothes display at Babies R Us this week when I went in for size four Overnite diapers (hard to find here) and I felt my pulse race.
ReplyDeleteAnd when I busted Hannah loose after her metabolic crisis and diagnosis I had no idea about the stroke and CP. Like you I think that was a blessing.