Beyond acceptance

Our life before kids was the kind of life that people envy. We lived in Bermuda. We traveled ALOT. We had lots of friends and had a very active social life. We would drop everything at the last minute and go to New York for a shopping weekend. We truly were having the times of our lives.

Then life changed very quickly for us. We decided to leave Bermuda for North Carolina...but things changed and we ended up in New York City instead. I found myself pregnant with twins just a few short months after we arrived. The pregnancy was hard. We didn't know anyone and my husband worked alot. I was very lonely but kept myself busy decorating our duplex and planning for the babies' arrival.

Just 7 short months later and they were here. And they were tiny. And they were sick. Very sick. We had no friends or family close by. People didn't seem to understand how sick they were. People didn't understand that we came very close to losing Ben.

Then they came home. And it was hard. Very hard. And exhausting. And lonely. And we missed our old life. We loved our babies but I think we both regretted having them. We wanted to go back to those care-free, easy days. We missed our friends. And traveling. And sleeping in.

My husband and I agree that at about the one year mark, we had both accepted that this was now our life. We still missed our old life but we were OK with the new one. It was a very long year getting to that point. But today, an odd thing happened. I finally realized that our new life was FUN. I wasn't just accepting it anymore. I was loving it. Sure, it's still hard. Especially dealing with the CP stuff. But the 4 of us were having fun. And I said to my husband, "It's so fun with them. Most days are fun now."

It took a long time to get here...but I can finally say that I'm having a ball!