Ben is definitely my more-difficult child. Life just seems so easy for Daniel and his personality seems to match that. Whereas Ben struggles just to move around. It's harder to get from room to room. Harder to do puzzles and play games. Harder even to eat supper. So I worry. I worry that this daily struggle is affecting his personality. Changing him. Making him cranky and difficult.
Or is that just his personality? Would he be that way without CP? Not all kids are easy-go-lucky.
But I hate that I even have to think this. Wonder this. Because then I'm not sure how to parent. Not sure how to discipline. I do try to be more understanding and mindful of how difficult things are for Ben. I try to make sure that he gets lots of sleep and rest. But sometimes, he just goes off the deep end and I have to be the parent. I can't let him get away with this behaviour. And it kills me.
St. Louis Children's actually states the following "Parents often note that their children become much less irritable and more loving after selective dorsal rhizotomy. We attribute this to decreased mental distraction by tight muscles."
I can only hope.
(We are still waiting for our surgery date. I spoke to the surgeon's administrative assistant last week and she said that we should get the date this week.)
I remember going back to the St. Louis list a couple months ago and having an "AHA!" moment!
ReplyDeletebut I agree with you, 100%
I often wonder the same thing about Mason. It actually makes me really sad when I think about the fact that I will never really know what he would have been like without a brain injury. Perhaps, he would have had the same personality (quiet and very shy) but perhaps not.
ReplyDeleteYes, same. We always get the comment (from people that don't know us well and don't know about the CP) that Nolan is the doer and Asher is the observer. Is he observing because he has to, or is that what he would have been like regardless? In Asher's care he isn't very irritable, it is the opposite - he seems to have infinite patience. You'd think that would be a good thing, which it mostly is, but at the same time it breaks my heart that maybe he sees no other choice than to be patient because he HAS to wait for help for everything he does.
ReplyDelete